An article what I wrote for the new Beat Happening.
As dark clouds hang from the edges a of humid summer afternoons, so Nick Cave has spent four decades looming at the peripherals of Popular Culture; glowering and jowly like Cerberus�s pup, the eternal flames of Hades have flickered in his heavy, lambent eyes, a deathly glare cast over the tyrannous world stretched before him. As introductions go this may appear a mite heavy on the Brimstone, and for this I apologise, but it is not without just cause: Cave has built an unparalleled body of work incorporating music, film and literature and dealt almost exclusively in the language of foul parables and Biblical retribution. If, in the dark church of counter culture, Mark E Smith is the Hip Priest then Nick Cave is rightfully ordained the Black Bishop, growling from the pulpit with woeful tales of an iniquitous, Old Testament God- not the kindly old Man with a white beard and fair, open hands, but the one with the leather jacket who gets drunk at parties and pretends he�s the Devil.
Thirteen days ago we found out we’d submitted the winning pitch for Dan Le Sac and Scroobius Pip’s new video. Tomorrow, with all going well and Zeus gazing down upon us with benevolent eyes, we’ll hand in the definitive article. For the sake of explicitness that’s a two week turnaround, which isn’t a lot of time on anyones calender. I was chatting with a mate of mine who makes videos for the Kaiser Chefs and the like, and he admitted that two weeks is about the amount of time it takes him to download the MP3 of whatever song it is he’s about to make a video for- with that in mind I hope you can appreciate the feeling of accomplishment I’m carrying around with me at the moment, this being my first attempt at playing producer. (If you can’t appreciate the feeling, starve yourself for a fortnight then go and eat three Lamb Jalfrezi’s and wash them down with a half pint of Brandy a piece…that’s as close as you’re gonna get I reckon).
As soon as we get the green card from Sunday Best I’ll have the brand new video for ‘A Letter From God To Man’ up here on the Porter Report. Until then, here’s some snaps that Red Fash took on location.
As we slowly thumb up these new reports from the Great Escape, I thought I’d let you have a look at what we could have won. You see, we here at the Porter Report never go about things by halves; our normal procedure is to start off with five quarters, realise we’ve only got a third in reserve and end up giving it two fifths because we’re all out of wallop.
Such was the case with the Wheely Bin Racer. On paper it all looked great… we had a go-cart frame, and by go-cart I’m not chatting pram wheels and an orange box, this is over a grands worth of precision welded gear: disc lock breaks, engine mount, rack and pinion steering… a proper bit of kit and no mistake. Atop of this very steady chassis we’d bolted an illegitimately appropriated Biffa Bin for a cab and a small green Wheely Bin by means of a bonnet… So far, so feral. The finishing touches were applied by some friends of an artistic bent and Hey Pesto! we’d got ourselves a Wheely Bin Racer.
It was our Get Out Of Jail card, our Great White Hope, it was our beautiful bouncing baby. Unfortunately as babies go it was a great big fat fucker, a cumbersome beast of no mean proportion that troubled its beatnick parents greatly: we didn’t have enough room to keep it! So it was that we shifted our creation from pillar to post, a glory lap of various back lawns in the BN2 that we hoped would run indefinitely. Our eventual aim was to commit to celluloid the road bound wonders of our brilliant, if slightly improbable, machine and at the same time find use for the “fake wall” El Kapitan found on somewhere on his travels. Better still, if we managed to tie in some kind of collision with the GMC Day Van that’s still got a For Sale sign in the window, we’d have Internet Gold and a use for at least three of the “good ideas” that have hung round our necks like lead plated albatrosses.
Another dollop of wallop from this years Great Escape, this time with Barry Hyde from The Futureheads. This episode of The Porter Report would not have been possible without the help of our American pen-pals at Boing Boing TV.
'Music Journalism is people who can't write, interviewing
people who can't talk in order to provide articles for people who don't
Welcome to this online repository for the ramblings of professional chancer
and well-known leisure pirate Russell Porter. A notorious loud mouth,
Russell is also the feckless presenter of The Porter Report, an ongoing series
of programmes from the front line of popular culture- every episode of which
can be found in the Shows section
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